It's not an Oprah 'Ah ha' moment but more of a eehhh..... moment. I just digested the fact that I will never NEVER have a quiet morning again. Not for a long time anyways! It's all about crying, whining, and fumbling over cereal boxes while I eyeball the empty coffee pot. Just once I'd like to go back in time and sleep till 10, lay there till 11 and fall back asleep. Ah ha!
But don't get me wrong. I LOVE being this important person in my kiddos' lives. I wouldn't trade it. But I can gripe about all the hard work behind it, can I? It is hard work to get up early in the morning and try to match the energy both my kids have when they start their day. It's nights of getting up to nurse a few times or scrambling to find, in the dark, the plastic sucky thing. Yeah, my Lincoln should be sleeping through the night by now but nooooo.
I'm learning and still have so much to learn as to what it is to be a mother. When I think of a 'mom' of course I think of my own mother. She was always sweet, wholesome, and would help me in any way she could. That is the image I carry with me. Luckily, my kids are too young and don't understand what it is when I groan, drag my feet, and sometimes cry because of exhaustion. Ok, how do moms do this??? If I'm blogging I might as well be honest. I am dead tired. Compared to having two kids...having one kid is like well- like having no kids. It is so different. Some moms are good at juggling and it come natural to them. I'd like to think I put forth great effort. One day I will have mastered this skill but as of now I am just trying to make it every day.
So after a few times through the night of letting me know that he exists, Lincoln around 6:00am, lets me know he's about ready to get up. This time would normally be 7 but we haven't gotten through the whole time change. Everyone else 'falls back' one hour but mommies don't. Who knows if I'll be able to get him back to 7am (whoa that would be heaven!) Soon after 6am, I'm throwing back my warmth of blankets and planting my bare feet on a cold tile floor. This is step number one to help perk myself up. (step two is Kurt dumping a bucket of cold water on my face... Kurt wants me to write that he has not yet done this). I tend to Lincoln and halfway through his breakfast Logan calls out for me. It's so funny that he does this. He can just get up and go but he 'somewhat' patiently waits for me to greet him in bed. "Mommy, cookie now?!!"
The battle begins.
Mornings are chaos. Randomness. Loud. I think they will get louder as the years go by.
And there shall be ...no more quiet mornings.